Good Times never felt so good

Tuesdays have been some of the best days of my life. Some extraordinary things have happened on a Tuesday. Every day is a memory but some days it’s about the moments.

I’m watching a commercial. It’s about living your busy life. It ends with wake up tomorrow and do it again. And I shutter. Yesterday, I wrote about being “on the outside” looking in. It’s hard to explain. Sometimes, people let their lives control them. I do not follow, I am led.

There was a Tuesday in Costa Rica, where I stood on the top of a mountain in the rainforest. It was early morning and it was raining. I spread my arms wide, looking up as the rain fell on my face and thanked God for putting me right there. I will always remember that moment.

Sometimes, you’ve got to turn away from the crowd. And listen to the words of the song. Or, as a greater power would say, the words of your soul.

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Click my heels three times

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I don’t want to gain the whole world and lose my soul is playing on the radio. I’m running up the stairs as the words just pour out of my head. Running for the IPad.

I don’t want to say, ” when I was young”, but those are the only words I can find. In the past three weeks , both my identity and my car have tried to be stolen. I’ve met a lot of great people here, but I’ve also met a lot of people who don’t trust. And rightfully so.

A commercial comes on for the attorney general. Her pitch is that out of 100 of the fraudulent “pill doctors”, ninety eight were from this state. Under her leadership, now there are none.

“Freakonomics” will tell you that everything leads to something. So, if you calculate how many prescriptions ninety eight doctors can write, how many people is that? People that can’t get their drug. So they look for another drug. Heroin.
Or Meth.

I feel people’s energies. Sometimes I don’t like it but it just is what it is. In 2011, I went to a book signing for Don Piper and his book called, Ninety minutes in Heaven. I was the last one in line. I told him I had died and come back too. I had three questions for him. I said I see everyone differently as if Im on the outside looking in. That’s normal, he replied. I say, I’m sad I came back, I see nothing the same. Yes, he said. normal. And I can “see” the person from the inside. Not by what they say or how they act, but literally what’s inside. A horse can do that too, did you know that??

When they brought me back, I was trying to board a train. A black train. I changed my life through a series of events after that. I wish everyone could get a glimpse of that train. My last question to Don………..I was boarding a black train, did anyone else experience that? He laughed, a quite hardy laugh. He had never heard that one.

 
 







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I’m right here

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Sometimes, with a brain impairment, my mind can become “stuck” on one thing. It’s hard to explain, but the way you’ll know it is that I seem “preoccupied”. Quiet.

I look at my time here and think of everything I’ve done in such a short time. This place moves like tides. Nothing much, especially when there’s heat than everything in fast motion all at once.

I’m working out, feeling like my old self again. I’ve done pretty well in the heat considering. And the fast pace…………I’m doing good most of the time. When Im not, I have a quiet, peaceful place to rest. For now.

But like everything in life, that too will change soon. And so Im thinking. I told my mother, don’t ask me because I don’t know yet. And so Im obsessing. That would be the “official” term.

My editor will see the “and so”. Don’t use too much. My family will say what now? And wonder if Ill be safe. I look at the miles on the car, the upcoming winter, the cost to stay here and my brain starts spinning.

I work out than go to the local Target to return something. I get out of my van and am immediately spooked by a dove not three feet from me. Looking right at me atop the roof of the next car.

I hear those who really know my gifts laughing. I see the dove when I’m closest to God. I had forgotten. He reminded me. He’s right there.

As the dove flew to the cart return, I took his picture. As he flew away, I took another picture. And thought, how beautiful. The message was for me.

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Best Hail Mary’s

iPhone 6 Dali edition. I have to laugh as I see the new iPhone being bent. Or dropped. And think didn’t anybody think of that?

I’m watching multiple TV screens but I can’t watch for long. I have no inspiration today, I have no message. ESPN is showing Best Hail Mary Passes. It gives me hope.

God help us all.

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Follow Me

I met my first woman quarterback the other day. A series of events led me to a place where my life changed again.

Yesterday, I spoke of threes. And once again, for the third time I was led to right where I needed to be. I posted an ad on a popular site looking to help someone out. I’m certainly not going to name the site. Or I will say what is wrong with America?

I was deceived, the first sign. With a brain impairment, I can be gullable. My friends will say I was like that before. I trust that human beings don’t lie. I trust that people will treat you with respect. I trust that their conscience will not allow them to Act when they know in their hearts its wrong. I am led.

The second I’m not wasting words on. The third took my breath away. Two individuals fighting for the same thing.

What is the ALS ice bucket challenge exactly? One leads and they all follow? Why? Was it the disease? Was it the cause? Or was it something else. I met a man this week with ALS, the third event. A man tall, handsome and once an athlete. I met a kind, strong man. I met a man who, when I left, I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t.

The quarterback is in her late 20′s. She’s going to Australia where she will play for 20,000 fans. 20,000 people will watch her play football where, I’m sure she’ll be playing for this man. She will be great.

So, for you Mr. BD, ALS might have raised 57 million but you, today, have readers in 57 countries. I will believe in my heart that every icebucket was a victory for you. I think of what you may want to say and nothing comes to mind. I wonder if that’s how Jesus felt. And then I have to cry.

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I will lead where you follow

The messages always come to me in threes. Sometimes I wonder if it just has to be delivered three times for my brain to grasp it. Other times, I wonder if I’m just not listening.

It’s rainy today. No matter where I’m travelling, when it’s a rainy day, everything slows down. Everybody slows down.

I finally slowed down. Enough to realize that Adsense was putting bad ads on my blog. I need to cancel but I just haven’t had the time.

My follow button didn’t work……at all. It’s gone now. You can follow me on twitter if you don’t want to go to the website every day. The bird symbol isn’t what I wanted but it works for now. I haven’t been writing every day.

Are you going too fast? Are you making something that will last? Oh dear, hear it comes. Feeling Groovy. Are You?

Proverbs 16:9
Bring on the rain.

 
 







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Was I lost?

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I blinked my eyes twice as I struggled to wake up. I’m in the South where the heat envelopes you. The people here hope for clouds. Today I did too. Montel Williams is now following you on Twitter my feed said. God I hope so, I said to myself.

I start my day with yoga, try to connect, I don’t. I’m not with it today, something is bugging me. Is it the heat? Is it the uncertainty? Sometimes I just have to let go or else my brain will “lock” on it and Ill get nothing accomplished.

I’m turning in the complex when I suddenly veer back out into traffic. I’m going to se the President. Really. 10 miles away the President will be landing. What are the chances?

At McDonald’s, I introduce myself to what I think is a General. Did you look at his name tag, my daughter says? No. I didn’t know what to do. Then the trip to the visitors center where I get permission to take a picture except when I take it, the guard approaches quickly. They ask to see the pictures. I ask when the Presidents coming, he smiles, Sorry, no.

I sit on the lanai on this warm balmy night. Thinking of the President 10 miles away. And think, Montel, not today. Not today.

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Take a letter Maria

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It’s song morning Saturday. I’m just waking up. It’s Ten O’clock. I’ve missed the exotic birds, they get here early. It feels good to be out of my routine. “Stay with a routine, you can lead a fairly normal life” were their exact words.

Address it to my wife. I’m laughing now, I’ve just transposed the words. That’s happens with a brain impairment. I was at the Salvador Dali Museum this week for a free lecture series. In an amazing coincidence I met the speaker early. I didn’t know it and as we chatted (because I had misread the time), he told me he also had a brain impairment from a surgery. During the lecture, I realized I wasn’t in tune with the audience.

Tell her I won’t be coming home. How hard that is to say to anyone. Have you done it? I have. It’s hard. Friends, family, lovers all wanting answers. Where there are none. I tell them it’s ok. I’m gently saying goodbye.

For the first time in my life, I’m out of my routine. I’m completely letting go and seeing where the Universe takes me. My heart and mind are open. They are totally open. Like Hemingway. And Dali.

Got to start a new life.

 
 







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A special acknowledgement today to Marilyn, my publicist, who watched as another life moment unfolded. A series of events which led me to Ernest Hemingway. And my likeness to him. I couldn’t do all this without your love, support, patience and understanding of I do not follow, I am led. Many blessings great friend. many blessings

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Where in the World

Where in the World?

There’s an elusive lizard that sits on the porch. He can’t hurt you. He just shows up, hangs out, than leaves again.

I’m on the move again. I’m in the south where the exotic birds draw you in. Their movements are spellbinding. Their sounds, incredible. The warm ocean breezes sway the palm trees and the evenings are still very warm. So different from where I was.

I’m letting just a few select people know where I’m at. I’m at a a point in my life where I don’t want to give answers. Or answer questions. And then I laugh. I aspire to be like the lizard.

I looked at my readership over the past month. I was surprised. All over the world they connect to me. Is it when we are connected that we wish to disconnect? I don’t know. Ill just keep watching the lizard.

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It’s official

I do not follow I am led. I’m delayed. Extreme heat and storms are keeping me here. I refer to James 4:-13-14 as I ponder why? And then let it go and enjoy one more day here.

Now I am appalled. It’s a rainy morning. I’m supposed to be resting today. With my brain impairment, I can do intense but then I need a day of rest.

I flip the channel. The unrest in the country has got me unsettled for some reason. The media is fueling the fire not extinguishing it. I’ve heard and seen enough. And than I see the stock channel. And feel myself wanting to flip the tables.

Let me explain. My two favorite stores are in a bidding war. In my toughest years, they literally saved me. The Dollar stores. I cringe as there’s a buyout. Profits are high. Of course, they are. So the stock analysts are analyzing. To which the host of the show says………the people that shop there…….the underclass.

I’ve been drawn to James all week. I thought it was my travel delay. James, I learned, in a random moment, was Jesus’s brother. He had many things to teach. The pages are flying before me. James 1:16, James 2:4, James 3:8, all of James 4.

James 5:7 tells me to wait well. I smile and think of the song. You know, He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my brother.

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