I got my miracle

I’m in the south. But it doesn’t feel like the south. It has been cold. And so in my third year here, I can’t stick to my normal routine. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I sleep on a double air mattress. It’s a system I made up myself after traveling so long. I have a queen mattress and a single. The single works well for when I’m on the road the queen works well because it makes like a couch with the twin.

One day I stripped all the bedding. It was a beach day and so I thought I’d launder everything fresh. When I returned home that evening, I noticed the queen had deflated somewhat. That’s strange I thought.

After careful search, I could not find a leak. The blinds had even left open and that day it almost reached 80 degrees. Maybe it had expanded and caused a seam leak. I would inflate it again and search.

I only have a lighter inflator so I drag my queen air mattress to my van. Now mind you I’m on the second floor. Of an apartment complex. Carrying this mattress by myself.

To make a long story short, this went on for six days. Finally, on a Sunday I say I’m taking this mattress out leaning it against the van and in the sunlight I’m going to find this leak. There it was, a pinhole. I was so proud of myself as I patched it and thought my problems were over!

That night I returned home to find it was still leaking. Somewhere else. By now I feel like I’m sleeping in a waterbed. I’m kind of getting used to it. But becoming very frustrated by it.

Yesterday was very windy. It’s actually the day that same wind is blowing the huge storm up the Eastern seaboard. It’s cold and windy. A miserable day. As evening came and I was going out for a walk, I knew I couldn’t blow up the mattress and carry it in that wind. I’ll just put it in the van and wait til nightfall to blow it up.

I didn’t blow it up. I slept on one firm mattress. And slept very well. I dreamed about what I feared most and let it go. I’m actually still laying here, writing. I didn’t want to lose this moment. I want solid underneath me. I want no instability. I want to know what’s holding me up is strong. And I’m letting go of anything that requires me to fill it up everyday. So that it works for me.

The most beautiful air mattress story ever. Ask for miracles and you will receive them. Just not in the way you planned.

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I need a Miracle

Is playing in the background. One of my favorite faith songs. I don’t know why but I like faith more than Christian. I am a woman of faith. And it shows.

I’m dating but I dread it. The other day I’m on the phone speaking with a man who says I’m special. He asks what I do. I write and photograph about the light. Well, do you believe it? You must if that’s what you do.

I’m in the South now. I feel myself changing again as the warm breezes and relaxed lifestyle have me thinking, maybe I could live here. But as my regular readers know, the heat will make me a prisoner of air conditioning by June. As a nomad of sorts, I am flexible like they used to say in the airline industry, “you are now free to move about the cabin.”

I wake up each day knowing this is leading somewhere. Yesterday, I spent the day at the beach. At the beach in Florida there are mostly couples walking. As you lay there, you can hear bits of conversations. The predominant one yesterday was the extreme weather.

I’m at a park and the birds are starting to surround me. People are looking. It’s time to go. And then, suddenly, the biggest bird ever came in from across the ocean, slowly, right over my head. It was in that moment I realized how small I was. I need a miracle.

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http://youtu.be/HmhNZkyGloc

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Welcome to my World

Morning has broken. It keeps coming back to me this morning. When a song enters my head, a message is trying to get through.

I awoke after a great nights sleep. The night before I had tossed and turned and so yesterday seemed “off”. I knew what was bothering me and I was trying to shake it off. Unsuccessfully.

At 10:54 am this morning, Mercury went retrograde. Backwards. It will stay that way for three weeks. Mistakes. Miscommunications. Dropped calls. Dropped phones. I have a great love for all things sun and space, moon and stars. I question why the planets are there. I want to travel in space and photograph.

My world consists of Mercury retrograde all the time. Does it bother me? Not anymore. Morning has Broken.

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the word

Sweet the rain’s new fall sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God’s recreation of the new day

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the word

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Lest you forget

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My mind is always formulating new ideas. I think it’s normal. That everybody’s mind does that. But I’ve come to realize they don’t.

Leonardo Davinci said, the knowledge of all things is possible. The first of his principles is curiosity. Be ever curious. He carried a notebook with him. Over 7000 words of ideas that were in his head.

Sometimes, I can’t tolerate those of a lesser mind. The I gently remind myself to be humble. It is through these principles I have realized the core of my being. Ideas through thought. Inventions through nature. And foresight through humility.

I studied the bible only to know what not to do. I started photographing nature because I constantly am distracted by nature. But only I can see it. You can witness it through my photography.

And as I was contemplating my car repair, general state of financial disrepair and the eccentricity of my mind I realized………..I, too, am like DaVinci. My mind reeled to how it would feel if the rich knew their money wouldn’t last. Would they too become “different?”

I have a new love, steam punk. I want to live it, breathe it, create a world of it. It started with a watch. Or was it a ring? I could live in a world of steam punk. No, I would rule the world of Steampunk. I started a hashtag #ifiruledtheworld.

My mind was spinning today. If only the wealthy knew how the poor were struggling. And I came up with this. Every seven years. Every seven years the wealthiest give all their money away. To the central system. Then the central system redistributes the money to the poorest. Like a steam punk watch.

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That’s what I love about Sundays

I’m in horse country. True horse country. Where I just stopped at one of my favorite places. I’m keeping it anonymous today. Because of the story.

It’s my New Years resolution of sorts. Make it less personal. Lets see if I can do it .

Im at my hotel this morning watching the weather when an ad comes on, if you took this drug and now have cancer…….I’m coming down the highway when an ad comes on, “you too can flip houses.” ………I’m sitting at my table when I overhear, “it’s creepy but it’s a part of the job.”………l

Later, as it happens a lot, the waitress asks me, what do you do? I share the light, I say. Through my photography. And I blog esoteric messages. Of God. As I travel. I notice the people I overheard look up. At me. I keep my head down.

I passed this exit on the Interstate. its raining, I want to keep moving. And then the town name comes up at the next exit. I veer off. Must be a reason I have to stop here.

As I walk in, the Southeast Outlook is right there in a stand. It’s a big church here. The article that catches my eye…….list of most popular bible verses for 2014. The number one pick, Romans 12:2, Be not of this world. Be not of this world.

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It’s like camping in a long tube

With a bunch of people you don’t know. I spent four hours on the Tarmac in San Jose, Costa Rica. The man in the seat next to me was talking to a five year old girl. About why we weren’t going anywhere. I was laughing hard.

We met by accident. Or was it fate. Our flight out of San Jose would be delayed. But before that, he was in line behind me at the ticket counter. He had a camera around his neck. So, being the photographer I am, I asked him a question. We politely chatted then went our separate ways.

Fast forward as the Hotel owner I was with, had to catch another flight. The camera guy shows up again as we realize we’re on the same flight. He says to the owner, I own a hotel too. We talk hotels.

We end up sitting next to each other on the plane. Where I spend the next four hours laughing and talking. Yes, he’s a photographer. A very big photographer.

We emailed today, this last day of 2014. Here we go again, a twist of fate? Or coincidence? I’m cleaning out my address book, getting rid of the old, making room for the new. I see his address and think, I haven’t talked to him in three years. I shoot him an email with my latest photography. He shoots me an email back, saying he was just thinking of me the other day.

And why am I saying all this? I can be honest and say that 2014 was miserable for me. A year I would say was a “3” on the scale of 1 to 10. But it was a growing, learning, letting go year. A year in which I realized I was not living fully for me. I was putting other people’s needs before my own.

Today, Im tossing, losing the old and preparing for the new, I toss my passport into the drawer. I won’t need this, I don’t know why I take it each time I travel. It is then, I hear from my friend. He’s at his hotel in Costa Rica.

So, for you, clear out the old. Get rid of the cobwebs. Prepare for the new. Everything happens for a reason. The moon and stars will line up for you if you ask. And sometimes, crazy events that are so random can become the next great adventure of your life.

I put the passport in my travel bag. Maybe not for Costa Rica, maybe for something else. If strange odd coincidences happen in your life, run with it. Just not with scissors.

Happy New Year

Some laughter now for you, Sean
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It comes from within

If I were to say, the kids don’t play outside anymore, I would be a hypocrite. I don’t play outside. I just spent hours scanning social media. And realized, I don’t expose too much of myself.

I don’t air grievances. I don’t show peeves. I don’t flaunt extremism. I’m pretty boring in the social world. But I’m pretty colorful in my head. Lets just say there was a man watching my feeds. He didn’t have a picture. His name was a synonym for something. When I viewed his page, it was blank. And yet he followed and commented and so many others. Like he was on the swing set with them.

It got me thinking. Are we more likely to expose our true selves when we don’t have to show who we really are? Or are we prone to expose too much when we feel “left out” on the playground of life?

I’ve learned to limit my exposure recently, but I’ve also learned I’m a great playmate on the playground of real life. Are you?

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How I killed the rabbit

Facebook, a dirty word. A brain killer, a very cool thing in the beginning. But in the end. Not so much.

So, how did I do it? It was my crack too. Those awkward moments waiting for your food to arrive. I’ll just check my newsfeed. Checking to see if others had found happiness, looking at the happy happy pictures feeling somewhat unsettled.

Anger, jealousy, wrath, sloth, all wrong all harmful to self.

So how’d I do it? Start slow. I had a really cool like page called mindbodygreen. Instead of looking at everyone’s posts I would share mindbodygreen to my feed with the privacy set to only me.. When I wanted to get on the newsfeed,instead I went my feed and all those articles (about great food, the environment, everything I’m really interested in) and would read those instead. Strangely, it was my way of being “on” facebook” but not looking at anyone else.

Then everyone became an acquaintance. Everyone. Which meant they would see what the public saw. No exceptions. It was at that moment, I knew everyone would see the same thing. It was a beautiful thing.

From there, over the next couple months, I saved the most important images to a file. I knew I had them in one place. I don’t know why I did this, the only thing coming to mind is if my crack addict facebook brain wanted to see something, I could go here and remember. If only briefly. The rest were deleted, one album at a time except for my professional work.

ALL my social media has become professional related. No exceptions. Every picture of me has my watermark and is suitable for media. If you’re looking at me, it’s to see my work.

How’s it feel? Pretty darn good. I feel “free.” When my food hasn’t arrived, I look around. Thank God that I have food in front of me. Not a screen. And then think of all those people I knew looking down. Wondering where the )$&@ I went. They know how to find me.

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