Who shall I say is calling

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I’m a terrible singer. But I truly believe that song is prayer. Expression of self. A higher calling.

I’m in the Lodge on top of the Mountain. As I walk through the lobby I hear a guitar player. He’s strumming Bye Bye Miss American Pie. Wait a minute! I say as the words he sung were dancing in the gym. As I pass a audience member standing in the back I say, it’s not in the gym it’s chin to chin.

So, for all my fans that have heard me belt it out, thank you. And I’m sorry. But as I’m on the mower deck helping with fall clean up at the ranch, I belt out another lyric. Laugh, shut the tractor down as fast as I can and run inside to the IPad. To write this.

You see, the song is I am yours. A Christian melody that is one of my favorites. The lyrics are “you catch me when Im falling.” I’m on the mower deck thinking. How to get across what I see. What I hear. It was then I belted out………who shall I say is calling. I answered my own question. The bad part is you just have to listen. Closely.

 
 







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I woke up and found myself

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Freezing. Not like Duck Dynasty Louisana 40 degree freezing in the blog Feb 28, 2013 or the worst, Bowling Green in April. Today it’s Auburn, Indiana. A WalMart parking lot. And Im right where I want to be.

I laid there under my toasty warm Saudi blanket. I call it that because my brother brought it back from there 25 years ago after a stint in the Air Force. Everybody knows the Saudi blanket. They fight over it. It’s in my will.

I’m stretching. Thinking of coffee. Listening to the the hustle and bustle of the day. I’m thinking of the last time I wrote. Where I was lost. I prayed. After that I met the 83 year old owner of a 100 acre apple farm. We talked bees, WWII and the seasons. My GPS got me lost. To make a long story short, I end up at the top of a 6000 foot mountain. Where, the next day, I discover the largest Dam east of the Mississippi. And a lodge.

The next day I travel through 318 curves to go 11 miles. There are photographers shooting pictures of the motorcycles. Motorcycles and sports cars come from everywhere to ride this road. I laughed when he took my picture. I banked it as best I could.

I have a map book. In it, I write down cool places I hear about or would like to see. After a long couple days, I sat down to to some good chicken.

So, thank you to Marv Pritchett for talking bees and apples, the cool waitress who chatted back road travel, the bartenders at the lodge, the photographers at the tail of the dragon, and the young lady who served me Starbucks as I took a wrong turn out of Louisville at midnight.

What do you do? You are so cool, she says. So I wake up this morning and think, I need a real camera. More room to sleep. I need a sponsor who could advertise on my vehicle. A little bigger vehicle but not too much. But something that would get me through the mountain snow.

As I literally stood at the highest elevation on the Eastern seaboard, I looked out and said, this is right where I was supposed to be. The night before, as the GPS failed, the cell service dropped, it was raining and I could barely see off the sides of the embankment with the rain, I thought, what have I gotten myself into. It was this morning I realized, it’s the message I always give. If you don’t listen, the Universe will show you. Answered prayers with a little fear, a little faith and a little hope.

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Knowledge is power

I don’t know what happened but I do. The cardinal and the dove appeared. It was time to go.

I ended up in a truck stop in Northern Georgia. Thinking, how did I get so lost? I had spent time in the place I write about where milk and honey flow. Life is about what you have, who you know, how you show yourself to the world. If you look around, you’ll find you’re being looked down upon. So, I keep my head down.

I was headed to Michigan. But I didn’t want to go there. I said I’d come back to Florida, but I didn’t want to go there either. I pass a small church on my way into the mountains. “The greatest message ever written came from an empty tomb.” The message was for me.

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Good Times never felt so good

Tuesdays have been some of the best days of my life. Some extraordinary things have happened on a Tuesday. Every day is a memory but some days it’s about the moments.

I’m watching a commercial. It’s about living your busy life. It ends with wake up tomorrow and do it again. And I shutter. Yesterday, I wrote about being “on the outside” looking in. It’s hard to explain. Sometimes, people let their lives control them. I do not follow, I am led.

There was a Tuesday in Costa Rica, where I stood on the top of a mountain in the rainforest. It was early morning and it was raining. I spread my arms wide, looking up as the rain fell on my face and thanked God for putting me right there. I will always remember that moment.

Sometimes, you’ve got to turn away from the crowd. And listen to the words of the song. Or, as a greater power would say, the words of your soul.

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Click my heels three times

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I don’t want to gain the whole world and lose my soul is playing on the radio. I’m running up the stairs as the words just pour out of my head. Running for the IPad.

I don’t want to say, ” when I was young”, but those are the only words I can find. In the past three weeks , both my identity and my car have tried to be stolen. I’ve met a lot of great people here, but I’ve also met a lot of people who don’t trust. And rightfully so.

A commercial comes on for the attorney general. Her pitch is that out of 100 of the fraudulent “pill doctors”, ninety eight were from this state. Under her leadership, now there are none.

“Freakonomics” will tell you that everything leads to something. So, if you calculate how many prescriptions ninety eight doctors can write, how many people is that? People that can’t get their drug. So they look for another drug. Heroin.
Or Meth.

I feel people’s energies. Sometimes I don’t like it but it just is what it is. In 2011, I went to a book signing for Don Piper and his book called, Ninety minutes in Heaven. I was the last one in line. I told him I had died and come back too. I had three questions for him. I said I see everyone differently as if Im on the outside looking in. That’s normal, he replied. I say, I’m sad I came back, I see nothing the same. Yes, he said. normal. And I can “see” the person from the inside. Not by what they say or how they act, but literally what’s inside. A horse can do that too, did you know that??

When they brought me back, I was trying to board a train. A black train. I changed my life through a series of events after that. I wish everyone could get a glimpse of that train. My last question to Don………..I was boarding a black train, did anyone else experience that? He laughed, a quite hardy laugh. He had never heard that one.

 
 







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I’m right here

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Sometimes, with a brain impairment, my mind can become “stuck” on one thing. It’s hard to explain, but the way you’ll know it is that I seem “preoccupied”. Quiet.

I look at my time here and think of everything I’ve done in such a short time. This place moves like tides. Nothing much, especially when there’s heat than everything in fast motion all at once.

I’m working out, feeling like my old self again. I’ve done pretty well in the heat considering. And the fast pace…………I’m doing good most of the time. When Im not, I have a quiet, peaceful place to rest. For now.

But like everything in life, that too will change soon. And so Im thinking. I told my mother, don’t ask me because I don’t know yet. And so Im obsessing. That would be the “official” term.

My editor will see the “and so”. Don’t use too much. My family will say what now? And wonder if Ill be safe. I look at the miles on the car, the upcoming winter, the cost to stay here and my brain starts spinning.

I work out than go to the local Target to return something. I get out of my van and am immediately spooked by a dove not three feet from me. Looking right at me atop the roof of the next car.

I hear those who really know my gifts laughing. I see the dove when I’m closest to God. I had forgotten. He reminded me. He’s right there.

As the dove flew to the cart return, I took his picture. As he flew away, I took another picture. And thought, how beautiful. The message was for me.

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Best Hail Mary’s

iPhone 6 Dali edition. I have to laugh as I see the new iPhone being bent. Or dropped. And think didn’t anybody think of that?

I’m watching multiple TV screens but I can’t watch for long. I have no inspiration today, I have no message. ESPN is showing Best Hail Mary Passes. It gives me hope.

God help us all.

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Follow Me

I met my first woman quarterback the other day. A series of events led me to a place where my life changed again.

Yesterday, I spoke of threes. And once again, for the third time I was led to right where I needed to be. I posted an ad on a popular site looking to help someone out. I’m certainly not going to name the site. Or I will say what is wrong with America?

I was deceived, the first sign. With a brain impairment, I can be gullable. My friends will say I was like that before. I trust that human beings don’t lie. I trust that people will treat you with respect. I trust that their conscience will not allow them to Act when they know in their hearts its wrong. I am led.

The second I’m not wasting words on. The third took my breath away. Two individuals fighting for the same thing.

What is the ALS ice bucket challenge exactly? One leads and they all follow? Why? Was it the disease? Was it the cause? Or was it something else. I met a man this week with ALS, the third event. A man tall, handsome and once an athlete. I met a kind, strong man. I met a man who, when I left, I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t.

The quarterback is in her late 20′s. She’s going to Australia where she will play for 20,000 fans. 20,000 people will watch her play football where, I’m sure she’ll be playing for this man. She will be great.

So, for you Mr. BD, ALS might have raised 57 million but you, today, have readers in 57 countries. I will believe in my heart that every icebucket was a victory for you. I think of what you may want to say and nothing comes to mind. I wonder if that’s how Jesus felt. And then I have to cry.

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I will lead where you follow

The messages always come to me in threes. Sometimes I wonder if it just has to be delivered three times for my brain to grasp it. Other times, I wonder if I’m just not listening.

It’s rainy today. No matter where I’m travelling, when it’s a rainy day, everything slows down. Everybody slows down.

I finally slowed down. Enough to realize that Adsense was putting bad ads on my blog. I need to cancel but I just haven’t had the time.

My follow button didn’t work……at all. It’s gone now. You can follow me on twitter if you don’t want to go to the website every day. The bird symbol isn’t what I wanted but it works for now. I haven’t been writing every day.

Are you going too fast? Are you making something that will last? Oh dear, hear it comes. Feeling Groovy. Are You?

Proverbs 16:9
Bring on the rain.

 
 







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Was I lost?

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I blinked my eyes twice as I struggled to wake up. I’m in the South where the heat envelopes you. The people here hope for clouds. Today I did too. Montel Williams is now following you on Twitter my feed said. God I hope so, I said to myself.

I start my day with yoga, try to connect, I don’t. I’m not with it today, something is bugging me. Is it the heat? Is it the uncertainty? Sometimes I just have to let go or else my brain will “lock” on it and Ill get nothing accomplished.

I’m turning in the complex when I suddenly veer back out into traffic. I’m going to se the President. Really. 10 miles away the President will be landing. What are the chances?

At McDonald’s, I introduce myself to what I think is a General. Did you look at his name tag, my daughter says? No. I didn’t know what to do. Then the trip to the visitors center where I get permission to take a picture except when I take it, the guard approaches quickly. They ask to see the pictures. I ask when the Presidents coming, he smiles, Sorry, no.

I sit on the lanai on this warm balmy night. Thinking of the President 10 miles away. And think, Montel, not today. Not today.

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