It’s official

I do not follow I am led. I’m delayed. Extreme heat and storms are keeping me here. I refer to James 4:-13-14 as I ponder why? And then let it go and enjoy one more day here.

Now I am appalled. It’s a rainy morning. I’m supposed to be resting today. With my brain impairment, I can do intense but then I need a day of rest.

I flip the channel. The unrest in the country has got me unsettled for some reason. The media is fueling the fire not extinguishing it. I’ve heard and seen enough. And than I see the stock channel. And feel myself wanting to flip the tables.

Let me explain. My two favorite stores are in a bidding war. In my toughest years, they literally saved me. The Dollar stores. I cringe as there’s a buyout. Profits are high. Of course, they are. So the stock analysts are analyzing. To which the host of the show says………the people that shop there…….the underclass.

I’ve been drawn to James all week. I thought it was my travel delay. James, I learned, in a random moment, was Jesus’s brother. He had many things to teach. The pages are flying before me. James 1:16, James 2:4, James 3:8, all of James 4.

James 5:7 tells me to wait well. I smile and think of the song. You know, He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my brother.

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I said that

The exact words are, ” this is not a major event.” To which I ponder, did the dinosaurs know the ice age was coming? Did the Mayans know their civilization was getting destroyed? Was Noah the only one to know of the great flood?

When I study the birds and the trees and suddenly look up, I know I’m the only one that sees. When I give someone a message and they look at me like, how did you know that?, I don’t even know. If I get goosebumps, the message is “spot on.”

I recently got a square reader. I now charge for my services. I don’t know if it’s going to work, I don’t know if “the message giver” will be happy about me charging. He’ll let me know if he’s not happy. For those of you new to the blog, the message giver, I believe,is God. Or the Universe. I died, came back and this is what I got. The ability to “read” others. I explain it as, you were praying or pleading with the Universe for help. I have witnesses who have seen my gift first hand. I suppose that means I have references.

Back to the story. CHANCE OF MINOR STORMS: NOAA forecasters estimate a 30% chance of polar geomagnetic storms on August 18th when a faint CME is expected to strike Earth’s magnetic field head-on. This is not a major event.

If its a major event, my credit card machine won’t work. If its not a major event, I can be reached at 231-645-7711. $25 for fifteen minutes. $15 for each additional 5 minutes. Now, be careful. you may not like the message. It may be stern. And my disclaimer is and will stay the same. If you don’t listen and heed to the message I give, the Universe WILL show you. No charge.

Remember the "big" picture

Remember the “big” picture

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Catch me if you can

I’m leaving soon. I can feel the crescendo building, the tides moving in and out, anticipating, calling. I have been on sabbatical.

I like to say I’m a teacher of sorts. A fisher of men. I’m packing, sorting, traveling light this time . Stay light, be ready to move is the message I’m getting.

This morning I take my coffee and slowly meander around the pond. Actually, the first duck of the season caught my attention as I pulled the curtains back. I must walk down and see.

So, here I am, shooting pictures, sipping my coffee, contemplating my last year. The release of the book. The acknowledgement and closure of the brain impairment. Getting to the meat of the bible.

I learned, I loved, I let go. I embraced, I taught the messages sometimes coming so fast I could hardly keep up.

Fishers of men. Not following but being led. But there are liars. And adulterers. And false prophets. History does not change.

I must wipe the dust from my feet and move on. I do not follow, I am led. As a flock of geese fly over. It’s awfully soon, I think. But than I remember, they too can sense when it’s time. Shouldn’t we all?

James 4:13-14


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No greater Love

I was feeling sorry for myself this morning. I’m hurting. Let me say it differently. My back hurts. And here comes Billy Graham Jr. Telling about Jesus’s pain, struggles, aloneness, betrayel and death.

I was thinking about where Im going. There have been no messages. Than Joyce Meyer comes on. Quit crying babies. It’s time to say……I am the righteousness of God in Christ. I don’t live under the law I live under the righteousness of Christ. Phew!

We dont always feel love. We don’t always feel victorious. But if you can believe by faith, that you have authority over the devil, that there is a plan for you , you can live by faith. Make mistakes. Pick yourself up.dust yourself off.

My first Psalm

We have to die to Christ
We have to come with unveiled faith

Proud pain is like the wind in summer
Staining a pretty yellow dress

Bring my love to earth
Where I may rest in Her sorrow

May the wind blow from the East
A cleansing rain
A morning dew
To begin anew



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This very special place


I feel like Elizabeth Bishop, the poet. I watched an incredible movie last night on showtime. Reaching for the moon. Anybody that knows me knows Im crazy about the moon.

I came to stay a few weeks, I don’t know how long I’ll be here. It’s a huge piece of property that started out as a little log cabin on a small parcel. As I drive the John Deere around today, I think of how many went into the pond. Two. I got married in the backyard. So did my daughter. With flowers from the gardens.

Thirty five years ago this year I was nominated for the first year, class partier. Could I have a small party ?? Twelve barrels, a band that played almost until the sun came up. The police came. Three times. People still talk about it. Only one fell in the pond. In my stepdads barbecue apron.

The sad times. My stepDad, who I write about, George. His love for nature, any living creature and his greatest love for my Mom, which lasted thirty two years. Three A-10′s flew over the morning of his funeral, tipped and broke formation. I still remember where I was standing.

Moms alone now. What is your greatest gift to others? Service. Staying when you want to go. Smiling when you want to cry. Giving when you have received. There’s memories and there’s moments. What is life if the moments pass without recognition?

I’m thinking of becoming a poet. I don’t know how. I have a brain impairment but Ill never stop trying. I’m reaching for the moon.

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The Lure of success

I recently returned from a vacation of sorts. Four days of nothing but swimming, fishing, s’mores and bonfires. I wasn’t looking but two fish stories found me. One by the tale. One by real life.

The first was a catch and release. The release was painful. The fish had swallowed the hook and the man in the next cabin had tried, gently and swiftly, to remove it. As he set it back in the water, it floated. He turned away, he said. He couldn’t watch. The boat moved on.

The second was direct. The small fish had swallowed the hook. The man couldn’t remove it. There was no chance. As quickly as the fish had swallowed the hook, the fish had set its fate. Don’t look, the man said. It was not pretty. It was too late.

Jesus fed the men all the fish they could eat. There were no hooks. Man lures himself into believing that his way is the right way. Until he swallows the hook.

Animals teach us many things. We just don’t know it.

Fishing in Life

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What are you worth

The man stood there, silent as he held the sign that said, “will work for food”. My initial reaction surprised me. Was I judging?

There had to be work. This is America. During my travels in Costa Rica the common theme among the people there was America is the dream. “I’m going to America” they said proudly. When I’d land back in the US,I’d watch the blank faces at the fast food places in the airport staring at the menu screens. I’d watch shiny cars and shiny clothes and long to be back running in the rainforest.

I look away. The pain is heartfelt. What it must have taken for him to decide to hold that sign………I think………his soul.

The people down the street have been gone for a couple months. I wonder if they headed toward the jobs. North Dakota maybe for the fracking jobs. The South for the construction jobs. And I think to myself, when did we become nomads?

America, land of the free. Maybe it’s time to be brave. To fight Goliath. America, where have you gone? Where are the brave? They’re the ones holding the signs. Showing the rest of us what we’re missing.


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Are you shaken or stirred?

Something ran through the forest last night. It was a calm, balmy night. Something large, screeching, intimidating something else. I was scared.

I’m Dawn Johnston and I’m back. I don’t know for how long, God will tell me that.

My young friend, one of the nine children has recently told me his mission is to preach. I knew it from the blog last summer, I couldn’t share it with him. I don’t share what I hear from God anymore. I am only to give the message. I learned that the hard way. I tried to stir on my own and was shaken.

I was in love. The man I loved was headed for trouble. I told him what I knew. It didn’t change anything. Was he shaken or stirred?

Oh here she goes. What is she trying to say? God tells me to speak but not too loudly. God tells me to help but not to push. God tells me to stay or to go. I do not follow, I am led.

The animal scared me last night. It is hard to see in the darkness. And decide that what’s out there can’t hurt you. So don’t try. Don’t be shaken.

I’m Dawn Johnston and Im back. Your welcome. Are you going to listen this time? I am.


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Saying Goodbye

I’ve told myself one hundred times I must be crazy. This brain impairment is a heavy burden……for you. And now I am laughing.

When I first started writing this blog in December of 2012, I said my goal was to someday throw all this technology away. To be close to water. To wear flowing skirts, drive an old pick up with a dog or four, in the back. Live somewhere remote. Where there is no noise and the confusion it brings for me.

I wrote last of my friends diagnosis of cancer. It doesn’t look good. What I didn’t write about is the moment him and I shared before the power went out.

I died, I said, I’m different now. His eyes got wide and he looked at me and said, me too. We laughed as we both knew exactly what we were talking about. We, at that moment, had both found calm in the storm.

That is all I want. To continually stay in the light. To know that what I know and say is heard. And than I have to move on.

Where? They say. How will you? What if?

It’s time. If one day I’m no longer posting, I’ve been told, no more. It’s time. And when I think I’m crazy? Just read all 434 blog pages. Read my Bible. Maybe I wasn’t so crazy after all.

1John 4:13


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The World is Mine

Post-feeling good Thank you Everyone

Post-feeling good
Thank you Everyone

Say something Im giving up on you is playing. My whole life has changed. In a week. Actually, in Five days.

I came into this not knowing how I would come out of this. I came out. Not realizing how many people would be overjoyed I came out. How many people prayed and kept vigil over me, many of them miles away.

Today was a rough day. They said I would have these. My blood pressure was dropping, I was retaining fluid. A hot shower with my dear friend close by, making sure I wouldn’t pass out. Keep walking. Walking with family friends, one more lap around Dawn, you can do this. Breathe Dawn, breathe.

I’m Dawn Johnston and I had a breast cancer diagnosis. Today, as I felt the worst pain ever, I received the call . There were 77 samples and only three of those had DCIS. All margins were clear, there was no more cancer.

So tonight, as I wear my fuzzy socks in my warm room, I, once again, have changed. I don’t know where Im going, but Im taking it one day at a time. Ill slowly get my strength back, start running again and start over.

Most importantly, this diagnosis has made me truly let go. For the first time, I don’t know what’s next. But to me that’s the most exciting part. Whatever is meant to be, let it be presented to me. One day at a time. One breath at a time. I’m still here. And God willing, I’m not going to say goodbye for a long time.

My Team, Dr. Brown, the "Man" of Breast Cancer, and Dr. Deluca Pytell, the "Sculptor".  Forever grateful..

My Team, Dr. Brown, the “Man” of Breast Cancer, and Dr. Deluca Pytell, the “Sculptor”. Forever grateful..

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